Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
