what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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