hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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