Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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