you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize