He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
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