All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
