jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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