You're completely useless in the revolution.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize