fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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