I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
