I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
