I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
