overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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