he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
