she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
