Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize