they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
