haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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