god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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