Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
