Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
