Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
