My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
