Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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