forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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