I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
