it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
