Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
We need to rekindle our bromance
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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