whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
