you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
