Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
