So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
