she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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