im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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