i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
