Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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