I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
