Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
