Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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