i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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