So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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