oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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