spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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