Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
