sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
