return my video game
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I fill condoms, not promises.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I love you. Go after that dick
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
