i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
