It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
