Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
