yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
