Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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