I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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