People in love make me want to vomit
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
