i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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