***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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