Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
she peed on how many people?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
