she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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