obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
