Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
