Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
