u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
