the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize