he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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